High Holy Mass of Contradictions

This has been an odd vacation: I’ve been struggling with still being sick (I came down with a virus infection less than a week before we left) and with having no energy due to weirdness with the timing of taking my Synthroid.

The Synthroid thing really threw me — hard. Here’s the thing: this is a medication you’re supposed to take at the same time every day. And for me, I’ve found that I need to wait at least an hour and a half after taking it before eating, and then wait at least four hours before taking my calcium supplements, which interfere with the effectiveness of Synthroid. But I have also found that to go back to sleep after taking Synthroid seems to concentrate it in some weird, intense way, so that I wake up jittery like I’m on speed or something. So trying to juggle all those restrictions and requirements while 13 hours off my normal schedule? Not easy. I initially tried just taking it at the same actual time (about 6 AM CST), which meant evening here, but that meant I was trying to fall asleep when I was just starting to feel energized. Yesterday morning that meant that I woke up (well, I never really slept) all shaky and with my heart racing. So I waited through the time difference and switched to taking it first thing this morning, and am just now starting to feel more normal, but I’m still a bit weak and woozy.

So I have truly been in the apartment almost the whole time we’ve been here. The only exceptions were on Saturday morning when we went out for a walk around the block (which wore me out) and for lunch when the driver took us to a Thai place for lunch, and we briefly walked around the Xantiandi area (which also wore me out). Yesterday I just resolved to stay in all day and let myself recover so I don’t ruin my whole week with this half-assed weak crap, but yesterday was also the day I was hardest hit by the Synthroid timing discrepancy, so while I was off my feet almost all day, it wasn’t exactly restful.

Nonetheless, I think the virus infection is almost gone (I still have slight sinus congestion and a trace of a cough, but it’s very minor) and I expect I’ll have my strength fully back within a day or two. Of course, we’re only here three and a half more days. So I’m going to try getting outside today, and see how it goes.

In the meantime, I have to say, if you’re going to be stuck indoors, our friends have an awesome place to be stuck. I’ve taken a few pictures from their panoramic picture windows and have played with ColorSplash on the iPhone with the one shown above. More pics are here, and more will be added in the coming days, I’m sure.

Originally published at Sticky, Sweet, & A Little Overdressed. You can comment here or there.

The hospital discharged me early yesterday evening. Karsten has had his hands full ever since. Keep him in your thoughts.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

My neck and throat feel all puffy and swollen today, for some reason, even though they don’t really look any different. Still, I keep making jokes to Karsten about it, like asking while he drives if my neck is blocking his view of the road — stuff like that. He shakes his head and asks if it’s going to be another two months of neck jokes before my surgery. Magic 8 Ball says “you may rely on it.”

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

Well, I just scheduled my thyroidectomy. October 2nd, 8 AM. I have to be there by 6:30, apparently. The nurse told me it’s “at least” a three-hour procedure. But I guess I’ll be knocked out so I probably won’t care how long it takes, really.

Gulp.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

I guess I haven’t mentioned that I found out that I don’t have cancer. I know I never really posted that it was a possibility, but what with the thyroid nodules and all, there was indeed a chance. But the biopsy came back benign, thank goodness. I mean, I still have to have my thyroid out, apparently, but at least it isn’t cancer with all its chances for extra complication.

So while I’m frustrated at having a mysterious new health problem emerge from nowhere, I’ve also been trying to remember to appreciate that it could be much worse.

But I’ve also been having increasing difficulties with drooping energy level, irritability, and trouble concentrating — all of which are probably at least partly attributable to my thyroid. So even with proper perspective? This pretty well sucks.

Oh, but to complete my roller-coaster thought pattern, the doc did tell me that it’s unlikely that goitrogens have any real influence in my case. He says iodine is far more likely to be a factor, and I don’t really think of myself as having a diet that is in either way extreme when it comes to iodine, so that’s good. And it means I can still eat my fill of soy and broccoli, which is REALLY good. Because I don’t think I was really prepared to give that stuff up. I’d be like one of those people with advanced lung cancer who still smokes three packs a day — only in my case I’d have an ever-growing lump in my neck while I gorge myself on stir-fried broccoli and tofu.

Hmm. I think I know what I’m having for lunch tomorrow.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

Did you know that there are substances called “goitrogens” which can inhibit the production of thyroid hormone and, the theory goes, contribute to the enlargement of the thyroid?

Maybe you’d heard of this, but it’s news to me.

And what’s more, there are two main types of foods that are most associated with goitrogens and, consequently, with thyroid disruption: soybean-related foods and crucifers.

Get it? Tofu and freakin’ broccoli, two of my favorite foods. Oh, hardy har har, universe. That’s a good one.

Now, I realize I’m doing research on the interwebs, and that my findings are therefore suspect. And I do recognize that most of the sites that talk about goitrogens make it clear that most people would have to consume “excessive” quantities of these foods before their effects would be likely to cause problems.

But, well, I do eat a LOT of soy-based products — I’m a vegan, after all — and I LOVE broccoli. I could eat it all the time.

It’s just very interesting, you know? And it just reinforces that thing my mom always used to say: everything in moderation, some things not at all. Because weirdly, even things most people think of as very healthy can cause trouble in large quantities.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a soy-and-broccoli-less dinner.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

I may have to have my thyroid removed.

More tests to do, but that’s the likely upshot.

I guess I better enjoy my thyroid while I can. Alas, dear thyroid, I hardly knew ye.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

I have got to stop being sick just to get some downtime. I mean, no, I’m not getting sick intentionally, but the net effect of being sick is that I get to be low-key, which ends up being kind of nice (if you overlook the whole watery-eyes, runny-nose, sneezing, coughing, headache-y, feverish part), but it shouldn’t take being sick to relax, right? Right.

Ugh. Pass the tissue and aspirin, please. And a blanket. I’m chillin’ out over here, literally.

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

• checking out chris wage’s project 365 slide show — it’s wonderful! http://www.flickr.com/photos/cwage/sets/72157594455834211/show/ #
• Thinking I should probably get my overly knotted neck and shoulder looked at. #

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. Please leave any comments there.

Originally published at The Bee Hive. Please leave any comments there.

It’s hard not to be irritated with doctors in general right now.

Let me back up for a second. Ever since the rat problem in the back yard and the flea infestation in the house and all the cat sicknesses, and all the rest of it, Karsten has been having a lot of trouble sleeping. He hardly sleeps, and then when he does sleep, he’s been waking up with major anxiety attacks. You can imagine how, after a while, that would start to make you not want to sleep at all.

I’ve been trying to convince him to go to the doctor and get a prescription for Ambien or something similar. He’s willing to take something over the counter, but I foresee the possibility that this will turn into a fairly long-term arrangement and I feel like a doctor should be monitoring it.

But the problem is, doctors have had a history of misjudging and mistrusting Karsten, especially when he goes in asking for a prescription. They think he’s a drug addict, and this seems to be based partly on his somewhat non-conformist appearance and partly on the fact that he works in the arts. Once, when he was being examined for sinus problems, a doctor said “You’re a musician, so you’ve used a lot of cocaine, right?” while nodding his head at Karsten as if to encourage him to agree. When Karsten replied (somewhat indignantly, no doubt) that he’d never used cocaine at all, the doctor regarded him with a suspicious look and refused to give him any medication at all.

Another time, when our apartment neighbors back in San Jose were making our lives miserable (one actually spit in Karsten’s face) and we were both jittery wrecks, Karsten went to the doctor — a different doctor, of course — and asked for something to help calm his nerves, like Valium or something, because he couldn’t write at all. This doctor also asked about Karsten’s recreational drug use (none) and refused to give him anything stronger than what amounted to a placebo.

After all this, I think it’s pretty understandable that he’s reluctant to go in asking for a prescription for sleeping pills.

But I suggested that he explain his state of mind, explain what’s been going on, and ask the doctor for a recommendation. If the doctor refuses to prescribe something, I said maybe he should offer to take a blood test to prove he doesn’t use drugs. He actually seemed comforted by having that card to play and it sounds like he’s going to go.

Has anyone else ever received this kind of suspicious treatment from doctors? If so, what do you do to ensure the outcome you’re hoping for?

Share This

It’s the last day of November, in case you hadn’t noticed, and that means all November writing projects are pretty much at their end. In my case, that signals the end of my 30-songs-in-30-days “NaSoWriMo” challenge, which I have once again failed to complete. But I don’t really care. All I’m really shooting for when I set about to do these things is to make myself write fast and get some ideas down, and I did do that.

I managed to draft 13 songs. I can’t say I really finished even one. But that’s OK. Because this was also a crazy-ass month. At work, we had a major scramble with a deadline of 11/30 (yep, that, too, is today!), and my weekly average number of hours shot way up. I’ve also been sick twice this month, including right now, which is why I’m not expecting to be able to churn out any more than I already have before tomorrow. And my current tummy troubles have me in a really bad mood and I’m finding it hard to concentrate on anything. So yeah, not the best conditions for creative writing.

So it’s over, and the count is 13 songs in 30 days, sort of. There might even be a few ideas worth going back and polishing up, which is a bonus because I was really just thinking of this as an exercise. Maybe I’ll try the challenge again in a few months when it’s not looking to be a crazy month at the day job and I’ve loaded up on multivitamins and echinacea.

In the meantime, the month of December is usually a wash for songwriting. Too many weekend activities, too much commotion, not even time to sit idly with my laptop, my guitar, and a cup of coffee and mull over an idea until I find just the right thing to say. So this is probably pretty much it until January. But I’m pretty satisfied with where things stand, so I’ll be happy to take a break and then get back into it come the new year.

Hope everyone else who participated in a writing challenge this month got something good out of it!

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.

( Her message )

I hope this e-mail reaches everyone in good health, and happy! Dad finished his radiation last week in time to accompany my mom to a business conference in Galena, IL. Unfortunately, he became very ill during the time they were in Galena. Delayed effects of the radiation. My mom said it was tough to concentrate on the business matters with him being sick in the room. She, and those with her, tried to make him as comfortable as possible.
We visited with them yesterday, for [name of Kate’s niece]’s 16th birthday. He is skinnier, but feeling better. In fact he will be traveling today through tomorrow for business. His first trip away in quite awhile. I asked him if he remembered how to do that, he said he thought it would come back for him.
He does not have an appointment with his oncologist until Dec. 1st. So we will eagerly await some morsels of good news upon that visit.
Again thank you for your prayers and support. That has lifted my mom and dad up to battle this disease with strength and determination. Thank you!
Peace, love, and prayers for you and your families!
[sister’s name]

Share This

Originally published at The Bee Hive. You can comment here or there.