High Holy Mass of Contradictions

I think my subconscious is trying to prepare me for success in music. That's why I keep having bizarre dreams that include run-ins with celebrities.

I just woke up from a dream in which I was one of the facilitators at some kind of conference retreat in a cabin by a beach. It must have been a long dream -- I can vaguely approach some of the outlines of what happened earlier on -- but the parts I remember were right at the end, just before I woke up.

I was supposed to be facilitating a session on some new or obscure language acquistion method (therealjae, I suppose this had something to do with your post the other day and our subsequent exchange) that basically insisted that everyone speak like Tarzan at the beginning: "Me Kate, English, teacher, you?"

To my great relief, my coworker Jill, who was one of the other facilitators, offered to take that session for me at the last minute so I could go lead her session on "Being Argumentative." Why was she letting me lead it?

Because Daryl Hall was sitting in the room, ready to begin.

When I started the session, I had a little dream-within-a-dream where I saw myself beginning the session by admitting to being a huge, huge, HUGE fan of Daryl's. In my mini-dream, it was obvious what a huge, huge, HUGE mistake that would be. I snapped back to "reality" and began the session by asking for intros around the circle. Daryl was clearly grateful to be being treated like everyone else.

Incidentally, shortly after the session began, a man I recognized walked by and a woman's head with no body floated by beside him. I recognized the head, too, and said hello, and she and I chit-chatted for a minute before I turned back to my session. I have no idea what that section of the dream means.

I had a funny dream last night.

I went out to a writers' night at a non-existent bar and as I was making my way over to greet some friends, I noticed that one of them was talking with Keith Urban. Being the opportunist I am, even in dreams, I butted in anyway.

In the dream, I mentioned to Keith U. that I have a colleague who has a very similar-sounding name (I can hear linxpro laughing already) and that I have a funny story about him. (This story is true.) We have a bunch of interns at work now, and my colleague was setting one of them up with publishing access to our intranet. She thanked him and added, "You know you have a very similar name to Keith Urban!"

My colleague, of course, who has never heard that one before (pardon the heavy sarcasm), came back with "Yeah but I'm better looking." (Go ahead, linxpro, I know you want to bust out laughing.)

The intern replied, "Shyah! I don't think so! He's, like, Australian!"

In my dream, when I'm telling this story to Keith Urban, I'm doing a very exaggerated Valley-girl-type delivery, and it gets a big laugh from my friend (on whose conversation I intruded, remember) and from Keith U. himself.

And then I woke up. Very amused.

Maybe it's a sign that I should go out somewhere tonight. Maybe I'll meet someone exciting. After all, I've lived in Nashvegas for more than 16 months now and still have only seen one celebrity (I saw John Hiatt picking up his own luggage at the airport). I'm overdue to meet some country stars!

I just woke up from a dream in which I was coming out to my cat, Blackberry.

Halfway through telling Blackberry I'm bi ("so that means I sleep with both men and women" -- I dream of not-very-good definitions of bisexuality) he turned into my coworker who's Indian (as in, from India).

I think this dream is trying to tell me something. I think Blackberry may be Indian, too. Or at least, he has an Indian accent. We've always said Blackberry has a "funny"-sounding meow. Now I feel horribly monocultural. Maybe he was just meowing with an accent.

Originally published at The Bee Hive. Please leave any comments there.

I just woke up from a dream in which I was coming out to my cat, Blackberry.

Halfway through telling Blackberry I’m bi (”so that means I sleep with both men and women” — I dream of not-very-good definitions of bisexuality) he turned into my coworker who’s Indian (as in, from India).

I think this dream is trying to tell me something. I think Blackberry may be Indian, too. Or at least, he has an Indian accent. We’ve always said Blackberry has a “funny”-sounding meow. Now I feel horribly monocultural. Maybe he was just meowing with an accent.

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Originally published at The Bee Hive. Please leave any comments there.

In the first one, I was just out of high school and dating this guy Todd, who was supposed to be still in high school, but who in reality was my next-door neighbor until my family moved when I was in high school, and although we did date eventually, it wasn’t until two summers after we graduated. And although he was a year behind me, in the dream he was the same age and grade as I was. Anyway, I stood there with him alone in this classroom as he installed a compact fluorescent light bulb above the teacher’s desk; it was meant to be a practical joke. When the teacher arrived, he was visibly upset, but he took the opportunity to make a learning experience out of it, and taught Todd how to install it at a better angle, or something. I don’t remember the details, but I remember being impressed.

And then in the second one, I still had this teacher theme going — in fact, it seems to have been just an extension of the first one. I was telling Michele, who was our real-life real estate agent in Portland and who incidentally is bisexual, but who in this dream apparently was a teacher, about the first dream. Can’t remember if I was aware it was a dream or not. Anyway, she proposed that she and I and her husband have sex together sometime. (Isn’t that what you do when someone tells you about a non-erotic dream of which you’re not a part?) I told her that it’s not within the agreed-upon boundaries of my relationship at present, but thanks for asking. And guess who her husband turned out to be? None other than the ubiquitous joedecker. My, but you do get around, Mr. Decker.

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